Renew, Reuse, Recreate.

I feel pressured. But I choose to. 6 years after graduating high school I finally feel like I have a shot. A shot at something that feels proper for me. I spent nearly 6 years... 6 years of my so called road to adult hood pondering, avoiding, and neglecting. The confusion and over dramatics. The carelessness. But most of all, the neglect. I'm talking about continuing education or what ever you want to call it. College, what ever. For the people out there that enrolled right out of high school? You's are one of many groups I admire. ( This doesnt mean I'm saying its bad not to go back to school ). It just seems powerful to me. Almost a statement. To enroll right out of high school. I always thought that something would just come to me. It doesn't work that way for most of us though. You see, this is what I am trying to say. I have spent months, days, hours, and literally seconds. Wasting away while I thought about what I could become. Music has always had a huge impact on me in the most un-identifying way. I am not in a band. But I always wish I was and most people that know me know that. I study movements of genres, groups, and all influental things that take such a mass effect on me. Tomorrow I could be into blue-grass, and I can accept that. Music has lead me into this project I started a little over a year ago. This blog has become apart of my life, and I dont know who is reading. I have friends that have huge impact on my influence as well, I cant forget that. But you see, through music, influence, and creativity. I have created something that nobody can take away from me. No matter any circumstance. Passed all the bells and whistles, and through the smoke. I truly have something that I enjoy doing. That now brings me to this. I have recently decided to apply for a couple courses that involve writing and other activities and experties I am into. I want to learn. So if you are still following me. In the end, everything I was looking for was right in front of me. I just couldn't see it. Music was my foundation. Influence came through friendships, and through personal awareness. Creativity came through my own mind. The mind I can't control sometimes from writing. I am grateful for my awareness, regardless of how the rest turns out. For almost my entire life. I heard quotes and references about keeping your dreams close. Stuff about believing in anything, and it happening. I never felt it. Miracles do exist, just so you know. They can happen in any of the smallest ways that maybe only you can notice. But they exist. Most of us are fortunate enough to control our futures. We dont appreciate it until maybe it gets taken away from us? If you are fortunate enough to think right now, and realize how much power you have. And how much there is to live for. Then you are lucky.