25 minute delays on all transit today.

It seems easy to write stuff about where your true passion comes from. But it isn't. If I have readers out there. They must think I'm some insecure person who constantly needs music, quotes, and good reasons to continue a life nobody around the world even knows of. I ride the bus everyday. Each day I see the same people. Some days different. A majority of most of my rides includes this: Spectating. I cant stop myself form imagining what type of person he or her is. Even when I'm reading a book, I'm spectating. "I wonder what kind of life that person has lived?", or "Is that person stressed out?". Simply just from a posture you can read stuff about people. If you're still reading this you might be bored. Fair. My bus rant went the total opposite direction I wanted it to. I'm laughing, but I'm not gonna write el oh el. Enjoy yourselves.

5:43 w/ Hamburger Helper

" If you want to fly, you've got to give up the shit that weighs you down "

For you, you, and you in the back..

I get goosebumps when I listen to this. You can't take that away from me. Let this song be a toast. A toast to every mistake I have ever made. All added up in one song. If you've ever made mistakes in your life, then this ones for you. I cant speak for Kings of Leon, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind. Enjoy yourselves everybody. Love is in the air.

To a friend.

The shower is where most of my idea's come about. Maybe the water clears my mind of all it's theatrics. A friend of mine phoned me. With built up troublesome thoughts. I can only imagine. It had me thinking. That is when something came to my head and I said out loud. "I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but that does not mean I am not a smart person". We all have friends. Sometimes the people you choose to talk about stuff may not seem like the best idea, but you just do it anyway. I am full of positive input almost everyday. However, I will let you know when something doesn't feel right. I will do the best I can where ever, when ever, and how ever I can. If that doesn't seem real enough to somebody, then so be it. You can't constantly render thoughts all day for something that may or may not have any meaning in your life. All you can do is think, and act. It's hard, I know. But nobody knows right? That's just a feeling, a lot like love. I'm here to relieve my friends of any dark sides that may have taken over them. How? How ever! Thet's just it. How ever you can! It doesn't make sense until you're finally there. I will have you know that Ive been there. I've lost, and I have found. All the mistakes Ive made along that way do not contradict how smart I am now. You only have one life to live. One chance, if you will. If this one chance takes EVERYTHING you have inside of you.. Then so be it, because I'd rather be ANYTHING but ordinary.

"I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me.. I’m going to smile."

I'm not lost

It's official ladies & gentlemen. I thought I lost it there for a second. I come across a song almost once every month. The song I usually come across means a lot at the time. I listen to it on, and on. It's a feeling, man. Either you get it, or you just dont. I choose this as of recent. Happy Birthday Gaudet.

MVP

Chances

Friday, January 14, 2011

The lanterns swing, and the swans lie low... Sipping red wine from a kitchen cup, and listening to " letters from the sky " by Civil Twilight. Dusting off the guitar tonight.. I miss you Carlo. Come home. I found this on my Myspace account earlier. It's a blog I named Pursuit Of Happiness.


People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness.Happiness, it seems to me, consists of two things: first, in being where you belong, and second -- and best -- in comfortably going through everyday life, that is, having had a good night's sleep and not being hurt by new shoes.

I have one life and one chance to make it count for something . . . I'm free to choose what that something is, and the something I've chosen is my faith. Now, my faith goes beyond theology and religion and requires considerable work and effort. My faith demands -- this is not optional -- my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference.

It's faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes a life worth living.

So what do you stand for?

Chronicles of a dreamer..

What you're about to read is 100 % real. I came across this on my own lap top. However, I did not write it. This is writing from somebodies actual journal. I haven't spell checked it. I left it how it was written. I also spoke with this person before exposing it. Raw writing. I love it. God bless you.



June 18th
Well, its been weeks since i wrote some shit down. my laptop crashed and i was unable to recover all of the data and music that was on it. one of the things lost was the pages of writing that i had. starting from scratch.
12:17 am. thursday night / friday morning. its been about 10 days since i had a cigarette. using the patch and this is my longest run in a while. jacob is sleeping and so are the cats. the house is himid and dark. headphones are blasting to the beat and monstrous harmonies of trivium. if you know me enough or have read my previous journal entries you would know that i've been through a lot the last couple of months. Before halloween 2008, I broke up with my longtime irlfriend jessica. i packed up all my stuff one day and moved out. it happened for various reason but the most influential reason would be to pursue my music career. fast forward 8 months. the band. long term enemy consists of me, matt pitre on guitar, adam jacobson on guitar, jason gray with vocals, andrew hildebrand on drums and our newest member, kevin cheetham on bass. we have a decent rig set up here in the basement. We actually received our first offical complaint the other night. i can say that i'm very surprised it took 8 months. So far we've got about 6 songs in the works, almost done, and vocals are being put together. I am definately looking forward toi getting all these songs wrapped up so we can play some shows. Hopefully before the end of the year if equal effort is given by each member., i am a 23 year old college droput working a "job" and i really have no backup plan besides music. i have no woman by my side. no dog. just a great set of friends and family. this may be why i give it all in my music. i have drive and determination and motivation. maybe one day we can pack arenas and stadiums:0 we have this vision that we can bring a massive amount of energy to a show and give people what they want to see and hear. we would like to give back to tose with open arms and ears. music is a very powerful source of feelings, thoughts and entertainemtn and if we could share that with people of all ages around the world then mission accomplished. we've known each other for years and grew up0 with each other. ive known adam since we were in kindergarten! I think we all bring something unique to the table and we would love to bring whgat we do to the world!

Earlier, I said i left my girlfirend. i did. we went together for 3 and a half years. 2 of the years in which we lived together in our own house. we loved each other. for some reason, she had a problem with me playing music with my buddies, like it took "too much" time. anyways, wehn push comes to shove, i moved out when i found this house. I immediately got possesion within a couple of weeks, actually on Halloween. We tried dating while i lived here and we had some great times but it ended shortly in the new year. we had plans to get married in the future and have a kid. Last year i had her initials tattooed on my chest near my heart. i love her and will always. she saved my life! she came into my life at a crucial time and saved me from burning out. anyways, fast forward ti today. i miss her. i really do. she is definately one of the reasons why i am sitting on the kitchen counter in the dark at 12:46 in the morning writing my life story lol. i want to give in to all my urges. i have an urge to light up a cigarette. there is a half pack of demauriers in the cupboard to the left. i also have an urge to drive by her house and call her. i am trying to be rational and make the smart decision so i just continue to type. yeah, so i was saying. there have been a handful of girls over the course of the last few months, but i dont miss them like J. I almost know for sure that if i go see her or call it wont result in something good. i want to but i know i cant. but i feel like im very close to my breaking point. ive found myself just binging on alcohol and weed till sleep is calm and effortless. well, tonight there is no herb or roaches around. so i write. and play. i have this vision in my head sometimes that we'll meet again one day. she's sent me a couple messages via the internet but i hav't responded. she knows where i live and hasnt shown up to see me since that week after christmas. ive found myself driving past her house countles times in the last week.

i recently went to the library across the street and checked out a couple of books.I have a thesaurus and randy bachman's autobiography. recent;ly, brucie dropped off a book for me. i started reading it the other day. its called heavier than heaven. its a biography on curt cobain. i ahve always loved reading, even as a kid, and i find it helps me get my mind off things. And learn. Great learning tool! over the last couple of months i read Slash's autobiography. What a great read! Slash is definately an example of anybody with a dream trying to achieve it! I also finished reading Head's biography, Save Me From Myself. Props to him! As you can see i like reading autobiographies. A couple of years ago, Jess borrowed me her copy of Anthony Kiedis's auto, Scar Tissue. She eventually bought me a copy and signed it. Ever since she borrowed that first copy we kinda started hitting it off. Anyways, I was thiunking of tapping into that book for the third time.

1:22 Scraped the bong. Weed resin. Ripped. Guitar Time. Goodnight.

Zooey & Adam

Zooey & Adam. This one is for you.

Thanks, Milo.

Literally good tweed, and white wine. Add this song to that combination.